It is always a brave move when you are approaching a person you are interested in. You never really know the consequences of a wrong word here, or a wrong move there. So, with this in mind, we spoke to experts about how you can express your genuine interest towards someone without being misinterpreted.
Line of Communication
For you to assume that the person will misconstrue you is very justifiable because a lot of people have trust issues. It is very important to first establish a line of communication and build trust. Aman Bhonsle, psychosocial analyst and relationship counsellor says, “Communicate with honesty and empathy towards the other person’s life journey. Everyone has a grand design of their own lives. So, talk about their dreams, aspirations, professional aspects, family lives and values.”
Keep the distance
The healthiest way to show your interest in someone is to maintain an appropriate distance from him/her.
Kavita Mungi, mental health counsellor, says, “This way, it becomes easy to win someone over with your conduct, which has to be proper. Be polite and put forth your proposal respectfully. That itself is a good indicator of the kind of person you are.”
Mind your language
Most importantly, be sensitive in the way you talk to your person of interest. Mungi says, “Avoid making crass comments or gestures. Verbal cues are a good indication of interest but at no point of time should they be out of line. It is important to know that you might get rejected and your language is the proper medium of accepting it gracefully.”
Help or teach them
Introduce the person you are interested in to a certain facet of your life, personality or social circle, or widen their horizons by giving them a sneak peek into something that they otherwise wouldn’t have done — like trying a certain type of cuisine or weekend activity.
Bhonsle says, “This is basically about you being the initiator. This way, they will see you as someone who perceives value in them, so as to help them grow, develop and nurture hidden areas of their personality.”
Take your time
Never be in a hurry to show your interest. Psychiatrist, Dr Kedar Tilwe says, “Getting to know the person who commands your attention and affection can be a fun and memorable process, if you are not in a hurry to win him/her over. Allow yourself the time and space required to make them feel secure and relaxed in your presence.”
Take a friend’s help
A friend in need, is a friend indeed. Request a common friend to act as a conduit.
Tilwe says, “We tend to be more assured if the person is known to us, however, sometimes building the required trust takes time. So, having someone you both know helps with the introductions. It is often a good way to break the ice and calm any anxieties or doubts the other person might have.”
Ask questions and hear them out
Listen with a genuine intent and understand what is important to this person and what they prioritise. Bhonsle says, “It means you are interested in knowing more about this person in a way that other people wouldn’t. Keep it more than the usual ‘hey, what’s up?’ This kind of inquisitiveness and probing lets the other person know that you might be interested in knowing more about him or her.”
Mar 09, 2019 20:08 IST